Being a fat girl, me and exercise have a not so good relationship and it's no bloody wonder when you think back to how the relationship with it develops at a young age and all of the shame and anxiety that goes with it - Cross Country runs at school (coming last, being laughed at and once, I shit you not, I got stuck in a gap in a fence that all the other kids effortlessly glided through to get to the other side ugh), being picked last for sports teams or even better being made to be the "anchor" for tug of war and being forced to participate at college in P.E when you know that you are by no means fit enough to join in properly without making an arse of yourself for all of the other kids to revel in (we seriously won't even go into the extremes I went to to get out of those classes - let's just say one resort lead me to a weeks worth of detention and almost being carted off to a psychiatrist - desperation had set in!).
Then as an adult, as Jess says, there is pressure for us to lose weight but when we get into a work out setting we feel totally out of place and as if we aren't allowed there - we freak out about being stared at, not being able to keep up, being the biggest one in the class or gym,pointed and laughed at, sideways looks and the possibility of rude comments.
I am trying to overcome this at the moment and have started exercising AND IT FEELS DAMN GOOD, moving my body for movement's sake feels wonderful (I can totally relate to the orgasm comment, afterwards I feel so happy and relaxed) and I love being able to set little challenges for myself and proving that I can meet them. I want to join the gym and do aqua aerobics and boxing classes but still have a lot of fear surrounding them but you know what, I am going feel the fear and do it anyways (although I am sure I will be having a similar fat girl freak out as Jess right before hand, but just like her I will push through) and I am going to enjoy ALL OF THE ORGASMS!
 |
| I'll have what she's having thanks |
No comments:
Post a Comment