This Blog Has Moved

To - undeniablymeg.blogspot.com

I wave the white flag!

I surrender this twisted war of trying to eat healthy and lose weight lost to eating junk and being lazy. I don't really know when or how it all started falling apart. Maybe it was when I didn't have the money to buy the healthy foods I like, or when my dog got sick, or the pressure of not keeping up with my grandmothers expectations of losing weight. All I know is one day I woke up and suddenly eating right did not seem that important to me. Brownies were okay to eat. Eating pizza with the family was convenient. And macaroni and cheese was comforting. 

I failed. For the seventh time of trying to loose weight I failed! I'm just a big fat failure. Maybe I was never meant to be a 'normal size'. Maybe I'm going to die from it. And it's all my fault. No one else s but mine. 

My friend asked me earlier "well what are you going to do about it?" Truth is I have no idea. I guess I'm going to do what I always do. Start over. I'm hanging on to this sliver of hope. This will probably be the last time I try. If I fail again the hope will be gone. Without hope can anything be achieved?

Dissapointed in myself.

I feel like a fraud. This blog is nothing like I imagined it would be. I wanted to inspire young girls like me to be healthier. But I can't even do that myself. I messed up. Don't know exactly when or how it started. It always happens. Always! I've been a on and off dieter for years now. I just want to loose all this weight and never have to deal with this again. I'm trying to get back on track and I hope this won't happen ever again. But I know it will. It always does.

Back To Me!

Finally after my long absence from my home gym today I returned with a mission. The mission was small (20 min workout) however I did complete it, all the while counting down to the very last second. I should of never of slacked off in the first place now I'm in that lazy phase. I can't wait till I start enjoying my workouts again.

Also today I got a email from fitday.com to try out the new beta. If you don't already know what it is you should check it out. It's a free online diet journal. You can track your foods, exercises, weight, bmi, goals and more. So far the beta just seems like a new look but there still adding stuff to it. If you want to try it out clickty clack this link and hurry their only allowing 500 people to test it out at the moment.

http://click.health.ibemail.com/?qs=cc7fdcdc5a1670c7a2fb72117f6ea94781c8032dcc08445e6e203262ce8a2bb7

I'm a Rebel

Yes that I am. I eat the healthy junk food. I drink diet soda. I eat frozen dinners (lean cuisines, smart ones, healthy choice) almost every single night. May not be the healthiest thing in the world but it is healthier than what most people eat and I am losing weight. So in my mind I am wining.


I still have not worked out in forever, which is bad. I'm afraid I'm getting into that lazy habit again. Sometimes I wish I could pause time it goes by to quick and I never have enough hours in the day to do everything I want to. I have to find balance in my life soon. I'm juggling to many things. Won't be long before I implode.

Still Alive

I made it through the hurricane alright. Still heart broken, but breathing none the less.  Still haven't worked out in like two weeks. I'm going to try and do some sort of workout today that is after I go to sleep and wake up since it is 3:40 am. Tonight has been one of the worst night. I've been crying all night, I have a headache and feel like crap now. I've been asking myself allot lately "What's the point in losing weight?"

                                                
If I'm being honest I really wasn't doing it completely for me. My motivation was that I was going lose weight and be skinny and beautiful for him. Craig. It goes against everything I believe in, no girl (or guy) should have to change themselves for anyone. Long story short, I never actually met him. We met online (I know it's dangerous and stupid) but we got to know each other for over a year. He said he loved me. I believed him. He lied. Now I'm hurting. End of story.




Motivation is gone.

Screw The Plan!

Hey everyone (as if anyone reads this blog),


                                               This week has been......eventful. To say I had a bad week would be a understatement. On Tuesday there was a huge earthquake that shook my entire house, on Friday my dog had his third seizure, also Friday night I found out that this guy I liked and thought liked me back and said he loves me and made plans to come and see me now all of a sudden has a girlfriend, and as if all that wasn't enough I am typing this in the middle of a hurricane as the power flickers on and off and my bedroom ceiling is leaking and literally falling to pieces. All week long I've been trying to balance work, starting a buisness, losing weight while taking care of all of my animals and have just barely getting by. Something needs to change.



                   I ate two cookies tonight. Yep, not even trying to hide it anymore. Haven't worked out at all this week either. This is how it always start. Me quitting. I don't want to quit, I'm trying not too. Things happen. That's my excuse.

There's so much I want to say right now but I'afraid the power might go out any minute now so I'll leave the rest for another time.